The Friends We Need

Apr 21 2023 - Eric Buresh

I am so thankful that God has blessed me with friends. When I use the word friend, I have a specific definition in mind. It is a person with whom I share a trusting two-way vulnerability, a person who cares about me enough to speak Biblical truth to me when I need it, and who cares enough about Jesus to gracefully receive Biblical truth from me when they need it. They do not flatter, and they do not expect flattery. They care about my eternal future a little more than they care about my temporal comfort/feelings, and they appreciate that I prioritize their circumstances in the same way. It is a person who will hurt me for my own eternal good when necessary, and who understands and appreciates that I will do the same for them. 

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” (Proverbs 27:6). “The sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by counsel of the soul. (vs. 9). “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” (vs. 17). 

Of course, friends are far more than this definition. They also laugh together, cry together, enjoy each other, encourage each other, etc. But in our age of political correctness, hypersensitivity, and an overwhelming belief that any feelings we have are a necessarily correct version of “our truth,” people who are willing to show real friendship (with backbone, grit, and honesty based on Biblical truth) are often unwelcome and approaching extinction even in the body of Christ. 

I have been shocked back to the path of life many times by honest words from my friends. Just recently, I had been experiencing a time of spiritual dryness. Intellectually, I understand that when I’m spiritually dry, it is because I’m not drinking from the free-flowing fountain of living water. It’s not God’s provision of water that’s failing, it’s my drinking of it that is lacking for whatever reason. Instead of searching out that reason in my soul by the guidance of the Spirit, however, I opted instead to bite into a delicious lie that popped into my head. I convinced myself that if I took a little break from God, we would reunite with greater passion after a little time apart. You know, absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. DUMB! Fortunately, a friend led by the Spirit asked me seemingly randomly how my walk with Jesus was going, and I shared the little lie I was telling myself. “We are just taking a little break.” Without hesitation, he told me I was chomping on a lie and that it wasn’t going to end the way I had pictured. It was going to lead to more dryness and who knows what else as I started down the slippery road of taking my eyes off Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith. 

After that conversation, I started praying for God to show me what it was that was hindering my ability to find the living water, and when I truly meant the prayer after several days, when I finally got thirsty in my soul, He showed me some heart issues that I had missed, and by confession I was immediately back at the fountain of living water once again enjoying the abundant life with my Father! I am thankful that the Spirit led my friend to ask me that question. I am thankful my friend bravely obeyed. I know I am not the easiest person to exhort. I am thankful that he didn’t tell me my wrong feelings were right, but plainly told me the truth instead. In the battle, He stood beside me. He gracefully slapped me back onto the path of life. Brothers and sisters, you too are only one implanted lie away from drifting. One deception from a dangerous wandering off the path of life. You need friends who will tell you the truth even though it hurts! God will use them to save you just like He has many times for me. 

I’ll leave you with a quote from our old friend, C.H. Spurgeon, 

“True friends put enough trust in you to tell you openly of your faults. Give me for a friend the man who will speak honestly of me before my face; who will not tell first one neighbor, and then another, but who will come straight to my house, and say, “Sir, I feel there is such-and-such a thing in you, which, as my brother, I must tell you of.” That man is a true friend; he has proved himself to be so; for we never get any praise for telling people of their faults; we rather hazard their dislike.”