Poor in Spirit
Jan 13 2023 - Amy Raby
Disclaimer: this is not a post on parenting.
Parenting is hard. Anyone who has ever done it in any form will confirm. It’s a roller coaster of joy and frustration. Children bring exhaustion and perseverance unlike anything else. We have four of them, and they hold some of our greatest delights and biggest trials.
As a parent, I often feel defeated. I want to do it well—to guide my kids to love God and love others to the best of my ability, but I get irritated and annoyed and angry. It’s an ebb and flow of joyous connection and please-just-leave-me-alone shame.
During a recent worship night at Grace, I sensed the Spirit wanting to do a new thing. He asked me to tackle some parenting struggles as if they were spiritual strongholds (2 Corinthians 10:4). What does that mean? Do I need to read another book, implement some new tools, or pull my bootstraps up even more and try harder? Thankfully that wasn’t what the Holy Spirit was suggesting. I realized that He wanted to love me by relentlessly going to work in my heart.
As I mulled it over, thinking about how to begin this battle, He clearly gave me my first task. Pray.
He didn’t ask me to pray for my kids to change. He asked me to pray something very specific. He brought me to Matthew 5:03, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
Poor in spirit. That’s what He wanted me to pray for. That's what He wants to teach me to become. That’s what He wants me to embrace.
Matthew 5:3 is where spiritual poverty meets spiritual abundance. A wonderful paradoxical mystery that turns my world upside down as Jesus settles His feet deeper into the soil of my heart. It’s the loss of self (poverty) into Christ (abundance). It is communion with the King of Heaven who took on human flesh, the ultimate impoverishing of self. The prayer for a poor spirit means I need Him—for everything. I’m completely dependent on Him. I’m small and helpless, and the only way I can love my kids well, or anyone for that matter, is by Him.
I’m learning that poor in spirit is a wonderful anecdote to fleshly frustrations. Whether I'm arguing with my spouse or I’m about to lose my motherly mind or I’m annoyed with the driver in front of me, the gentle whisper redirects me—poor in spirit Amy. I can’t be poor in spirit and entitled. I can’t be poor in spirit and fight to be right. I can’t be poor in spirit and impatient or selfish or cynical.
I’m hopeful He is changing me. I can sense it. His Spirit interrupts my thoughts which transforms my patterns and behaviors, which sculpts my heart. I find myself less offended by the people around me and more trusting of God.
Perhaps that is the foundation of the kingdom of heaven—trust God. I find Ephesians 3:16-17 to be a beautiful description of the kingdom of heaven at work in us. “That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; …being rooted and grounded in love...” We are invited to be poor in spirit, and He grants us the abundant riches of His glory, the kingdom of heaven, right smack in our hearts.