A Sickening Indifference
Aug 5 2022 - Eric Buresh
Let’s start with a story: Once upon a not-too-distant time, in a not-too-distant place, lived a married couple of several years. The empirical details of their life together are of no particular uniqueness. It is the emotional relationship between the two that is worthy of consideration. The wife loved the husband deeply. She had surrendered a large portion of her heart’s affection to him. She was kind, gentle, and patient toward her husband, and her greatest desire was for her husband to reciprocate by surrendering his heart to her. The husband was by most definitions a “good” husband. He was faithful to his wife and steady in his life. He’d held a good job for many years. He did precisely 50% of the household chores. He had read somewhere that good husbands spend at least one hour a day talking with their wife so he mapped out precisely one hour every day where he would talk with his wife about planning and logistics for the day or for upcoming events. He took his wife to dinner or a movie one evening every week. He would bring her flowers on her birthday, and a card on Valentine’s Day, every year. He never said a mean word to his wife, and never raised his voice. He had constructed a list of husbandly duties, he had it all calendared, and he religiously performed the list. He was proud of himself. He had this marriage thing figured out.
The wife eventually grew to hate the list and what it represented. The duty-keeping made her husband feel good about himself, but it had nothing to do with how he felt about her. There was no love expressed in the list, only self-serving acts of pride. The husband looked great to everyone, but the wife was deprived of the only thing she wanted – her husband’s heart-felt affection. She wanted her husband to desire to spend time with her and to ache when they were apart. She yearned to hear that her husband found joy and delight in her company. She longed to be the object of his affection, not the target of his self-loving acts. She wanted to be her husband’s treasure. On her most recent birthday, the wife finally boiled over. The husband and arrived home with the yearly vase of flowers, handed them to her, and then walked off to start his share of the chores. As he walked away, she smashed the flower vase on the floor and stomped on the flowers. As the husband turned, the wife cried out in pain, “These flowers are for you, not me. You don’t love me. Everything you do is about you. I would rather you hate me than to have you keep using me as a pawn for your own little play. You make me sick. If you have any feelings for me at all, please change.”
Do we ever treat Jesus like the husband treated the wife? Lots of duty to make us look good at church, but little in the way of love for our Savior? If so, Jesus doesn’t appreciate such treatment any more than the wife:
“I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.” (Rev. 3:15-16)
He spoke these words to the Church at Laodicea. These were religious people that lacked heart affection for Jesus. The heart matters to Jesus more than anything else. He loves us so much. He is so faithful and gracious to us. And He desires our heart’s affection. He desires that we find deep and eternal joy in Him. When we act (attend church, read the Word, perform acts of service, etc.) out of duty, instead of out of desire, it is not a beautiful thing to our Lord. It is religion. It is detestable. It makes Him want to spit us out. Yet, He knows our nature and He gracious calls us to Himself:
As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore, be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. (Rev. 3:19-20)
If you find yourself going through the motions of religion while being indifferent in your heart toward Jesus, pray for a change. He is still there – knocking and waiting for you to repent. When your heart is a burning flame of love for Jesus, He will give you the desire of your heart (Psalm 37:4) and a fulness of joy that transcends time and circumstances (Psalm 16:11)!
P.S. – For further reflection, consider the link between the mind and the heart. What we think heavily influences what we feel. The Laodiceans thought they were rich and had need of nothing. Rev. 3:17. They did not know their true spiritual state. (vs. 18) When we trust in ourselves, we love ourselves. When we understand our wretched state, our heart’s door is opened to loving Jesus. “Cursed is the man who trusts in man; blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord.” (Jeremiah 17:5-8)