Gospel Parenting

Nov 5 2024 - Eric Buresh

“When Israel was a child, I loved him, . . . To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them.” Hosea 11:1, 4 (NIV) 

My wife and I are grandparents for the first time! The baby is not due to be born until early next year, but since the moment the baby was alive, we were grandparents. We are super-excited to meet our first grandchild, and somewhat amazed that the transition from parents to grandparents snuck up on us so quickly! 

Perhaps our news was a trigger, but in the last few weeks I’ve had several younger parents ask if I had any tips for parenting. Well, yes and no. If you are expecting tactical tips, I don’t really have much to offer. I know some things that worked for my family, but every family and, in fact, every child in a family, is a unique relationship. Any advice I could give in terms of tactical tips would just be my opinion based on my experiences.   

But I do have some advice that I’m more comfortable giving. As I look back on my early parenting with our boys, I would grade my fathering as a solid D. I thought I pretty much had everything figured out, so I parented according to what I wanted, led by my own worldly wisdom. By and large, it was selfish parenting, trying to make my kids what I wanted them to be by means that too often included intimidation and fear. For the most part, I was not a good example of our Father and thus not a good father. I wasn’t following Christ in my parenting, and I don’t believe it’s possible to be a good parent if you are not following Christ. Thankfully, Jesus continued working on me by His Spirit and the Word. I was slowly transformed and renewed in my parenting, and I was less and less conformed to worldly wisdom. So, here’s the advice I can offer: Parent by the Gospel! Apply the ABC’s: 

Admit you don’t know what you’re doing on your own and that you have no idea where you’re even aiming for your child because you don’t know what God has in store for your child. 

Believe by faith that Jesus does know the Way to the very best for your child, and that He is making your child HIS masterpiece and inviting you to play an important part in His work. 

Confess that Jesus is Lord over your parenting. Put Jesus right in front of you spiritually, and then tuck in behind Him as close as you can as a parent for the sake of your children. 

How do you “do” Gospel Parenting? Meditate on the character of the triune God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) because God is the only perfect parent. The character of God reveals truly selfless and sacrificial love, mercy and discipline in perfect balance, a comforting and tender affection, a patient teacher, a strong advocate, steady and unchanging consistency, faithfulness in promises, peaceful and confident leadership, and the list goes on and on.   

As you learn the character of God, tuck in closely behind Him (“abide” in Him). Imitate His character as much as you possibly can in your parenting. When (not if) you blow it, quickly apologize and explain to your child why what you just did was inconsistent with God’s character. And if you blow it the same way an hour later, apologize all over again (the motivation not to have to apologize repeatedly is a good aid for your own transformation in Christ). I promise that the more you tuck behind and follow Christ, the more your mind will be renewed and the easier it will be to know the will of God for your child. Romans 12:1-2. 

Finally, when you follow Jesus well in your parenting, when Christ’s masterpiece shines in you, repeatedly remind your child that you are how you are because you are tucking in behind Jesus, depending on Him. The reason you are calm and confident, tender and comforting, steady and peaceful is that Jesus is right in front of you, leading you along. Repeatedly invite your child to join you in following closely behind Jesus. That’s what leadership looks like. Lord willing, your children will see what you have in Christ is really good, they will tuck in behind you as you are tucked in behind Jesus, and over time, you will point them past yourself to the Author of your and their masterpiece.