The Golden Rule

Oct 22 2024 - Eric Buresh

Love for others is obviously a central tenant of our faith. Jesus said love for others would be the defining mark of His disciples. John 13:35. Jesus commanded love for others repeatedly as one of the two great commandments that fulfilled the entire Law and the Prophets. Matthew 22:37-39. Specifically, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” And the same concept is repeated throughout Paul’s letters, e.g., Romans 13:8-10, Galatians 5:14. 

For probably way too long, I struggled to understand this foundational commandment. I honestly couldn’t get my head around what it meant to love others like I love myself. I would always spin myself around to the same basic question – how do I love myself? I mean I make sure I have food and try to get appropriate amounts of rest, but is that what it means to love myself, or is that just practical survival instincts? I never really thought of those things as loving myself, but then I also have never gone involuntarily hungry so maybe feeding myself is loving myself even if I don’t think of it that way. I enjoy reading, so maybe that seems like a form of loving myself when I make time to read – but I know other people that don’t like to read so it wouldn’t seem loving to force them to read just because I love myself that way. These are just a small sampling of the many odd conversations I’ve had with myself around this topic. 

I suspect most people have never had this struggle – the meaning and application of this critical command is probably very intuitive for most (and I’m sure there are counselors who would love to explore my disconnect with me). However, the Lord was kind enough to let me discover a way out of my confusion. I really can’t believe I missed this for so many years, but the answer for me was the Golden Rule: “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them.” Matthew 7:12. 

For whatever reason, I had in my mind that to love others as you love yourself was the great commandment, and then separately, there was the Golden Rule, which was sort of a practical wisdom. The Lord opened my eyes to the fact that they are the same concept using different words. In Matthew 7:12, Jesus tells us that the Golden Rule sums up or is the essence of the Law and the Prophets, just like the great commandments. The Golden Rule is a restatement of the second great commandment.   

Thus, while I struggle to apply the concept of loving others as I love myself, I have no similar disconnect with applying the Golden Rule. If I were involuntarily hungry, I would want someone else to feed me. If I were sick, I would want someone to help me. If I were lost, I would want someone to show me the way. If there was a Truth that would impact my eternity and I didn’t know about it, I would want someone to tell me. If I were about to go off a cliff (metaphorically speaking) in my life, I would want someone to warn me even if it made me mad to hear the needed warning. If I hurt someone in some way, I would want them to forgive me even if I was too proud to ask for it. The list goes on and on. You simply put yourself into the other person’s shoes as best you can and ask what you would REALLY want (recognizing that we all can have wants that are not healthy) if you were in those shoes. Then, love them in that way. This fulfills the Law and the Prophets. This marks us out as Jesus’ disciples. And praise the Lord (from my perspective) that our Father gives us different language when we need it!