After the Darkness, Light
Jul 19 2024 - Eric Buresh
Every now and again, my soul strolls into the shadows of despair. Sometimes it’s easy to pinpoint the trigger. Sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it feels like a nebulous weight pressing down. Sometimes it feels like a malaise where the exact same activity that was bright and full of life yesterday is bland and constraining today. Intellectually, you know the Truth that produces joy, but emotionally, the feelings just won’t fall in line. Sometimes, the despair lingers, slowly and increasingly suffocating. The more you think about the shadows, the harder it is to escape.
Frustrated, I cry out with the psalmist, “Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?” Psalm 42:5,11. The shout is a holy dialogue between my mind and my soul, an argument between Truth and feelings. The psalmist does not deny his feelings; we must face them with honesty. Pretending the darkness does not exist only gives it more strength. Rather, we must confront it, laying it bare before the Lord. Charles Spurgeon once said, “[i]t is no sign of a wise man to turn away from reality, however unpleasant it may be.” Indeed, we must acknowledge our state if we are to find the comfort that God intends. After all, to ask this question is not an expression of disbelief but of faith struggling to align feelings with believed Truth.
Alongside the frustration, I preach to my soul: “Hope in God!” The psalmist doesn’t merely suggest hoping in God; he instructs his soul to do so. This active stance is crucial. We must preach to ourselves, to speak the Truths of Scripture into our hearts when the shadows threaten to overwhelm us. This self-exhortation is not mere positive thinking. It is a profound and Biblical practice that anchors our souls to the unchanging character of God. When we feel our faith wavering and doubts encroaching, we must remind ourselves of who God is and what He has promised.
“For I shall again praise him.” The psalmist looks beyond his present emotional darkness to a future of renewed praise. Though the moment may be dark, light and joy are coming. This is a promised Truth. This confident expectation is grounded not in human strength or willpower but on the steadfast nature of God’s character and His promises. The day will come again when our mouths will be filled with laughter and our tongues with singing.
“My salvation and my God.” I reaffirm my personal relationship with God. God is not only the source of my salvation but also my personal, covenantal God. I trust Him as my deliverer from sin and death. But I also recognize Him as sovereign Lord and loving Father. The Truth of this intimate, personal relationship with God is what sustains us in our deepest struggles. We are not alone, we belong to Him, and He is faithful.
Father, thank you for your Word, which shines light into our deepest shadows and lifts us to hope in you. Teach us to speak Your truth to our souls, to anchor our hearts in Your promises, and to confidently find our deepest joy in You, our salvation and our God. In Jesus’ name, Amen.