Sunday Cynic
Jan 6 2023 - Amy Raby
It’s been several months that I’ve felt the Spirit chipping away at something. Although He’s probably been doing it all my life, it’s been significantly evident lately.
He does that. He takes us just as we are and then gently begins His work of making us into the beauty of Christ we are meant to be. Little by little, He transforms us. An infinite work of our becoming more and more like the infinite One. He is never-ending, so perhaps it is safe to say our transformation of becoming like Him in this life is the same. He is the everlasting Father, the Ancient of Days, the Alpha and Omega, and we are His children after all.
Sometimes I forget the arduous journey of this process and too quickly abandon grace for others. I expect the people around me to be flawless. To match my expectations with ease and to be exactly how I think they should be.
A while back, I was miserable on Sundays. I was still going to church every week, singing to Jesus-centered worship and hearing messages from Scripture, but I left each week with a long list of things that “went wrong.” Why aren’t more people raising their hands? Why didn’t the preacher say this instead? Why didn’t the host make it more about God? I might as well have asked, Why didn’t they put me up on the stage to lead worship…host…and preach?!
I don’t enjoy misery, and I’ve always truly loved the church gathering. So why was I left so unhappy and disappointed on Sundays? The answer was simple. I had become a Christian cynic. Just by the sheer definition of the word, there are two obvious marks of a cynic.
- They question others
- They are concerned with themselves
This was me to a T! Before I even walked through the doors each week, I was prepared for disappointment. I was ready to take note of all the flaws and flubs I could capture. I doubted the knowledge and heart of others, and in all candidness, I thought I could do better.
A cynic doesn’t trust, and I wasn’t trusting God. God wants me to love others and to trust His ways, especially in the Sunday gathering. It wasn’t hard to see Him at work once He gave me the faith to begin looking.
Thankfully, He kept on chipping. He graciously showed me my sin of self-centeredness, pride and a critical spirit. Ultimately, He showed me that I was looking at all the wrong people. I was focused on my great ideas and, what I deemed as, someone else's floundering's. Neither of those places were meant to hold my gaze on a Sunday, and my mindset was far-fetched to reflect any kind of faith.
He challenged me; Amy, do you believe I put these people here? Do you believe I am at work here? He didn’t shame me for my pride. He simply called me to faith. If I believed that He is the center of a Sunday (and every day for that matter), I needed to look to Him and for Him. My heart changed immediately. My perspective flipped like a switch. I went from critically asking, what are we doing, to earnestly asking, what is He doing? Nothing about the Sunday gathering changed, and yet everything did.
What a different experience I began having. I arrived eager to see the Spirit of God move in the church. I started listening for statements that exalted Jesus, which in fact were many. I found the simple truth of the gospel inspiring me once again as our preachers regularly proclaimed it. I felt the thrill of gratitude when a song declared the love, goodness or faithfulness of Jesus. I celebrated as fathers baptized their sons, and I looked for those who might especially need prayer and encouragement.
I hope I never fall into the cynic’s trap again. To foolishly think the sacred gathering of the church is anything less than the cosmic, personal, powerful workings of the Holy Ghost. Sundays are an opportunity to commune with God in a special way. To delight in Him alongside others whom He loves as one body, one Spirit, one faith.
If you identify as an occasional or a chronic cynic, pray for a change of heart and meditate on the following scriptures:
Matthew 5:3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
Romans 12:2-3 “Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. For by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he should think. Instead, think sensibly, as God has distributed a measure of faith to each one.”
II Corinthians 3:18 “But we all, with unveiled faces, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”
Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding.”
Psalm 37:3-4 “Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.”
Philippians 2:13 “for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. Do all things without complaining and disputing,”